Memorial Day, a Nod

Memorial Day is almost upon us. And with it picnics, beach trips and countless mattress sales nationwide. Some among us will bemoan the fact that most of the country, especially those ‘damn young people’ have forgotten what the day is about. Sure some go about their day and give the faintest nod to the meaning of the day.

As a veteran, I see this differently. And though I intend to teach my children, and have in the past, the significance of Memorial Day, it is a difficult thing to wrap one’s head around as a young child. Death, especially death in something as terrible as war, is a concept that young children cannot grasp. Beyond television, it is a concept most ADULTS have a concept grasping. So, what do we teach our children that they’ll understand?

As a veteran, I also don’t see myself as special. I was a very small cog in a very, very large machine. I did my part. My part resulted in some awards that now garner dust on a shelf, forgotten until the next cleaning and having resulted in some task near or far being completed in the name of freedom and the protection of our country. I’m immensely proud of my time in the Armed Forces and it was, in truth, one of the things most responsible for broadening my horizons and shaping my viewpoint of the world at large. I just don’t talk much about it because it was a time past. Inevitably, it comes up on Memorial Day and Veterans Day and there are the ‘Thank You’s’ from friends and family. I never know what to say.

Many sacrificed far more than me, more than I can even comprehend and I am a part of that brother and sisterhood. The horrors and loss of war cannot be told through a big screen and Dolby stereo. They surely cannot be conveyed here.

However, I’ve much respect for the ones that went before and after me. Many years ago as I was catching a flight home from overseas I plopped down, exhausted, to find a grizzled veteran with a 101st Airborne cap seated across from me . If you don’t know the history of the 101st in WWII then look it up, you’ll be the wiser and more in awe for it. He sat there quietly, apprised my uniform and my ribbons with a gaze that had seen far more than my 20 years had or would ever see.

And he nodded.

That was my greatest compliment ever. No thank you’s, no big speeches, no memorials or parades. No salutes or big handshakes or conversation. A nod.

That stuck with me. From then until now and will until I die. That nod said more than anything spoken or written ever could. He understood, I understood. It was better than the any words could convey. And that’s all I needed. This nod has been traded by soldiers, sailors and airmen for millennia, and will continue until warfighters are no longer needed. I pray for that day.

It is important to teach our children that such people existed, but it is their greatest achievement that they don’t, and hopefully never will, understand. Undeniably, there are brave men and women that go forth every day still and defend our nation and our way of life, unspoken and uncelebrated. They die in deserts, cities, jungles and upon the seas. To be sure it is something that we speak about with our children. But they won’t understand. Good.

Those men and women succeeded. They’ve kept war and strife, oppression and terror so far at bay that their children, our children no longer fear it. And in many cases, they did the job so well that the world is forgetting such men and women existed.

That is the greatest compliment I think they can receive. The fears they had on Bunker Hill, Gettysburg, Verdun, Bastogne, Chosin, Khe Sanh and Fallujah are so far removed and so well erased that they are but stories in history books and movies with which to employ actors.

Tomorrow many of us will celebrate the memory lost comrades, fallen men and women, fathers, sons, grandfathers and others. And to those who have lost, my undying thank you and may you find some peace in the loss of your loved ones.

And with that, go forth and picnic, shop at the mall, and go sun yourself on the beach. Go buy a mattress or dine at an all you can eat buffet. That you can do so, freely, is the price paid by these men and women. And it is their thanks as well.

And of course I will teach my little one the history of Memorial Day and be thankful that it is just that……….history.

And nod.