Fairy Tales & Fatherhood

Feeding time is one of the times when dad’s are more closely connected with their child. Mine’s of the age now where she can start feeding herself, even if it is just clumsily shoveling random items into her mouth. It’s a time for experimenting, finding out what she likes, trying new foods and discovering new tastes. Rejections are hastily discarded and tossed to the floor with a giggle or sometimes a pinched little face of rejection.

It is a time for bonding, and laughing and playing and getting to know one another. This continues through life though. We go out to meals with family, friends, dates, clients, because sitting through a meal and eating with one another is one of our things. It’s how we connect to each other, or don’t.

This is the third little girl for me. And watching her eat brings back so many memories it is difficult to recount them all. And while no one will ever accuse me of not being emotional around my children, it’s feeding time that gets me. Feeding time takes me on a journey every time. I can remember what each child liked, and what each child didn’t like. I can remember the weird things we ate together, the odd combinations. I can remember the first tries of certain foods.

But mostly it’s the faces. I can remember each of their faces. Each one different, each one the same. The giggles are in stereo, my first two mixed with the new one playing the most cherished tune you can imagine. Those unabashed smiles and toothy grins, mayo and jelly smeared on flawless little cheeks and eyes aglow with the newness of it all. I can see each in turn and I have to watch myself. I get carried away in it. I am now.

There are the brown eyes of one, the blue of another. A birds nest of brown hair then a moment later a mess of blond. There’s macaroni for one, chicken nuggets for another, cheerios and chips for the other. Through all these years when I’m lost for details in so many of my memories, these stand out like a beacon cutting through morning mist simultaneously guiding back in time and rooting me in the moment

But it is proof of a point that most dad’s should make note of and heed. I can’t say that there are many words of wisdom that I can offer where I could grab you and shake you and say, ‘pay attention, fool, this is what you’ll miss’. It won’t be Christmases and birthdays, it won’t be the big moments. It will be moments like this that get you. This is when you’re best to be present in the moment. Put down the phone, turn off the tv, and just be in this moment. You’ll nourish their little minds and bodies, but in turn they’ll nourish your soul.

I get a lifetime highlight reel in a breakfast, matinee or dinner show every day. Sometimes, I get two or three of them per day. And it never fails to pull me to a place that makes me happy. And all the while she’s eating, laughing, copying my face as I struggle to keep my watering eyes from running over. There’s no place I’d rather be.

And don’t mind the mess, there’ll be chips on the floor, crumbs in her hair, jelly on her cheeks and a sticky mess on her hands. The entire area will be a disaster zone. That’s the nature of feeding a young child.

There’ll be a trail of crumbs through the house, cookies and muffins and whatever else she can find.

I implore you to follow that trail of crumbs, you’ll find it leads straight to your heart.